


we're in this for life

by cloudruniere



Category: NCT (Band)
Genre: Angst, M/M, SO, me trying to write noren angst, slight nomin mentionings, so i guess warning for future character death
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-06-18
Updated: 2018-06-18
Packaged: 2019-05-25 03:18:48
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,077
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14967983
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/cloudruniere/pseuds/cloudruniere
Summary: renjun is sick and he needs to find somebody.alternatively, listen to the light by THE ARK:"Hold my hand when you need somebodyI’ll be that somebody somebody,we’re in this for life yeahOnly look at me when you need a shoulderI’ll be that somebody somebody,we’re in this for life yeah"





	we're in this for life

**Author's Note:**

> for sumo because she's writing noren fluff while i wrote noren angst so that there will be balance in the world

“Chenle?”

His voice sounds so meek and fragile, echoing around the plain white room. Renjun breathes out heavily, urging his voice to be louder and get through to the boy snoozing on the comforter across his bed.

“Chenle?”

No difference. His best friend just wriggles his nose, scratches it absentmindedly in his sleep and shifts over to rest his head on his hand pitched up on one arm of the chair. Renjun sighs, deciding to stop trying in case he overworks himself, and moves to lie on his back.

The ceiling was tiled. There was about seventy two or seventy three of them, Renjun couldn’t remember. He had counted them once, maybe twice, but he remembers the nurse putting a needle into his arm at fifty one and a doctor talking to his parents when he counted at least sixty three. Renjun had been really tired after such a long day with nothing to eat and as he drifted away, forgetting what number he left off.

Renjun yawns and he knows it’s late. He tried to kick Chenle out, feeling bad since he’d been staying with him the entire weekend. But, he stopped when their conversations made him smile and finally felt safe to feel happy and laugh carelessly, even when nurses came in to hush them because other patients were sleeping.

Renjun fiddles with his wristband, feeling the stickiness of the edge peeking out and the sharp corners that made his skin red when toyed. Renjun sighs, wondering how many days he has.

 

\---

 

“Jisung.”

Chenle hums, looking up from the comic in his hands. “Sorry?”

“How do you feel about Jisung?” Renjun asks, eyes downcast and tracing imaginary convoluted lines on the pale blue bedspread.

Chenle makes an amused snort, “I feel like he’s an idiot.”

“Seriously, Chenle,” Renjun says.

Chenle looks up, surprised at the commanding tone, swallowing the tension suddenly surrounding the cold room. “Well,” he begins, fiddling with a stray string of his sweater. “I like him.”

“Okay…” Renjun replies, shuffling to lie on his back. “Promise me you’ll tell him.”

“But-”

“Promise?”

Chenle sighs, “Fine.”

 

\---

 

“How is he?”

“He’s alright, I guess. Are you and Jeno coming?”

“Yeah, Jeno just wanted to pick up something.”

“Okay, I’ll see you guys soon.”

“See you later, Chenle.”

“Wait, Jisung.”

“Yes?”

“Thank you.”

“For what?”

“Thanks for sticking by Renjun.”

“Of course, what kind of friend would I be if I didn’t?”

“Not the great friend you are, that’s for sure.”

“Well, anyway-”

“That’s not all. I just- I wanted to say that I really like you. As in, I like you in a way that asks you to be more than...a great friend.”

“Oh.”

“Sorry, I just really really wanted to tell you.”

Chenle hears a spurt of a laugh.

“You have really bad timing, you realize that.”

“No time like the present.”

“I’ll give you an answer when I come. Bye, Chenle.”

 

\---

 

“Do you think Mark is cute?”

Chenle gives Renjun a peculiar look, “Somewhat? If I tilt my head a certain way then maybe?”

Renjun chuckles, flipping a page of their high school yearbook to a new section. Old faces pop out at him, bringing a surging rush of melancholy. “Is Jaemin still nice?”

“Very,” Chenle says, standing up and snuggling himself beside Renjun on the bed, hand poised to card lithe fingers through ebony locks. The strands feel unpleasantly dry but the faint familiar smell of citrus that waft up with every affectionate caress makes Chenle smile. “Do you remember when you two crashed into each other in the hallway? It took ten minutes for either of you to stop apologizing.”

Renjun leans his head on Chenle’s shoulder, inhaling the smell of fresh laundered clothes. “Did Jeno like him?”

Chenle responds, “I think they were neighbours actually. They must get along fair enough. Jaemin used to drive Jeno to school whenever he missed the bus. Knowing Jeno, that was probably every other day during senior year.”

Renjun’s limbs ache. “I want to see him.”

 

\---

 

Jeno’s fingers ghost over shelves, indecisiveness eating away at the time. After what seems to be hours carelessly spent, Jeno picks out a bottle of water. It feels like dead weight in his hands.

“Hey.”

Jeno sees Jisung come forward from the other end of the aisle.

“You got everything you need?”

“I think,” Jeno sighs, pushing down the tremor he feels speeding in his veins. “What did Chenle say on the phone?”

“Renjun’s doing fine.”

Jeno tsks, “Even if he wasn’t, he wouldn’t say.”

“You know how he is,” Jisung says, “He hates when we fuss over him.”

“I know, I know,” Jeno mumbles, the bottle cracking under the pressure of his fist.

 

\---

 

“It’s great seeing you up,” Jaemin says, smiling so widely, so brightly, so positively radiant. Renjun wants to cry under the ray of his sunshine. It’s perfect.

“I’m really glad to see you,” Renjun says, reaching forward to grab Jaemin’s hand. He intertwines their fingers, relishing the warmth, appreciating the security. Renjun feels the blessed assurance of someone. It’s perfect.

Jaemin hesitates, a slight shake in his stance tells Renjun that something is wrong.

“Are you okay?” Renjun asks.

“Chenle…” Jaemin begins. “He sounded a little worried over the phone, I was scared something happened.”

“He worries a lot,” Renjun grins. “But, there’s a reason I wanted him to call you. I needed you.”

Jaemin falters, recoiling at the words. “Me? How can I help?”

“Trust me,” Renjun says, pulling Jaemin into a tight hug. He feels arms wrap around him in response. Renjun sniffles at the comfort, the strong arms, the acceptance. “You’re perfect.”

 

\---

 

“I can’t do this,” Jeno says, eyeing the doors of the hospital in the distance.

Jisung stops in his movements to leave, watching Jeno breathe in and out. Repeat and repeat. “Jeno.”

“Jisung,” Jeno screams, banging his arms on the steering wheel, a hollow sound, again and again. “I can’t do this.” Tracks of tears stain his cheeks as Jeno’s violent outburst dissolves into a weak body struggling to stay together. “Why can’t I do this?”

Jisung shushes him, gathering his friend into his arms and rocking him like he would to calm a child. “You can do this. Don’t think you can’t cry. You can do this, you can cry.”

Jeno wails, clutching tight onto Jisung’s jacket.

“Go ahead, cry.”

Jeno coughs and sniffles, finding it hard to breathe.

“We can do this.”

 

\---

 

“That’s ridiculous,” Chenle says, looking past the window and watching as Renjun dozes off inside. “He wouldn’t-”

“But, he did.” Jaemin says, regrettably nodding his head. “Please know that I’d never agree to it. I mean, Jeno-”

“I get it,” Chenle clicks his tongue. “Where does the guy get his ideas from? That IV must be pumping something to his brain.”

Jaemin replies, “He’s Renjun.” he shrugs his shoulders, “Always headstrong, going off doing whatever he pleases and leaves us picking up the pieces. He’s the only person I’d ever be able to describe as recklessly responsible.”

They both share a laugh. The elevator doors behind them open to reveal Jisung and Jeno.

“Hey,” Chenle greets, smiling as Jisung sides up next to him. Their hands find a way to one another’s. Chenle sees Jeno at the corner of his eye staring into Renjun’s room. “Wait,” Chenle stops him before he can go inside.

Jeno looks at him in surprise.

“There’s something you need to know.”

 

\---

 

There’s a tickling sensation fluttering across his cheek, a chilly stroke that embraces him with a tender feeling. Renjun raises his hand to catch the culprit, hearing hoarse laughter intertwine their fingers together into a woven promise.

“Good afternoon, sleepyhead.”

Renjun blinks away the fairy dust that gathered in his eyelids, the sun shining from the open window outlining the figure beside his bed.

Renjun yawns, sitting up to smile at his company. “Hi, you.”

“Me,” Jeno sings, free hand reaching across to flick away black threads falling onto Renjun’s forehead. “How are you feeling?”

“I’ve felt better,” Renjun replies. “But, I’ve felt worse. How is it outside?”

“Warm, sunny, but a little cold when the wind blows. It’s summer,” Jeno smiles, “Your favorite.”

“Has it rained yet?”

“Not yet. But, as soon as it does, I’m going to make sure you’re out of here and we’ll spend an entire day in the rain,” Jeno promises.

“My mom would kill you,” Renjun laughs, thumb running circles on Jeno’s palm.

“I wasn’t murdered the last time,” Jeno says, lips forming a Cheshire smile and leaning forward to place a gentle kiss on Renjun’s cheek.

“You’re lucky my parents are at work,” Renjun teases. He looks to the side to see the door closed and no one outside his room; therefore, he pulls Jeno forward the hand and lets their lips meet in the middle. Renjun smiles when Jeno pushes closer, a melody of giggles bubbling between them as joy tickles their chest with each touch and caress.

When they part, Renjun keeps his head down to shadow the sweet pink of his cheeks and his silly grin. The quiet masks the short moment of bliss and Renjun, worriedly, looks to see Jeno pursing his lips in contemplation. His face shows a myriad of feelings, eyes flicking between Renjun and the door, that go beyond Renjun’s mind into a place Renjun desperately wants to reach.

Renjun pats Jeno’s hand settled on his bed, “Jeno?”

“Why did you ask Jaemin to take care of me?”

Renjun’s hand jerks away, eyes widening in fright at Jeno’s questions, and shields himself when Jeno opens his mouth to continue.

“You asked Jaemin to take care of me, to look out for me, to hold my hand, to hug me, to kiss me, to date me, to love me. I want to know why.”

Any answer would never fully convey all the things Renjun has to say. None show how his heart burns with distress and the cracks can no longer be plastered by hopeless reassurances. His mind and body has clawed itself so fiercely to Jeno that when this stupid sickness wretches him away, Jeno will hold onto a constraining burden. No, Renjun will not be selfish, he will not leave Jeno that way.

“It’s alright,” Renjun reasons, his cold fingertips dancing on Jeno’s forearm, tracing non-sequential patterns. “He’ll be great.” Renjun stiffens when he hears an angry hiss.

“That does not answer my question.”

“It’s okay.”

“Stop it,” Jeno stands, chair rattling after the sudden movement. His figure looms over Renjun, shoulders squared, fists clenched, chest rising and falling with his aggravated breaths. “This is stupid. Your entire plan is stupid.”

“Jen-”

Jeno shushes him, covering his mouth with a firm hand and a sharp look. “No one,” Jeno states, “will ever replace you in my life.” Jeno ignores the muffled arguments Renjun struggles to say. “Do not go around to all our friends and ask them to replace you, to somehow fill in your space when it will only ever be you. Don’t you dare try something so stupid ever again.”

Renjun’s body goes lax, shoulders caving in, head bowing in defeat and eyes stinging from the storm distressing his mind. Gently, he moves away Jeno’s hand, and says, “But how can I leave you without doing something?”

Jeno gives him a saccharine smile, “You don’t know that yet,” his free hand traces the soft lines of Renjun’s face, tickling Renjun into sparing a contrite smile. Jeno watches the moment dearly, “I must have done something wrong in loving you if you ever thought someone else could match up to how much you mean to me.”

“I thought,” Renjun’s throat tightens, heart tightening in the most uncomfortable way. “I don’t know what I was thinking, I guess. I’m sorry.”

Jeno shuffles forward, snuggling himself into Renjun’s side. “I’ll forgive your stupidity if you never leave me.”

Renjun sighs, wrapping his arms around Jeno’s waist, burying his face into a cotton soft chest. He breathes in fragrant pine, “I can’t promise that.” Renjun reaches to place a kiss on Jeno’s neck before settling back comfortably. He smiles when his heart listens to the stutter of rhythmic heartbeats.

Jeno runs his hand through familiar bushy, black hair, “Cancer ain’t got anything on you, baby. Kick it’s butt.”

Laughter rings like music, “I’m trying.”

Well, Jeno thinks, nuzzling closer, and tighter, until he feels they’re infinitesimally separated, that’s all they can do for now.

**Author's Note:**

> twit @babyIeIe if you wanna see me crying over the dreamies :))))


End file.
